my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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