Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
