i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize