i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
