I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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