Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
