two words: eviction party
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
