your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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