enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
