I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
