He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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