when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
