Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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