and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
