dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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