i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
