We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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