He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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