You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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