Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
