I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
