How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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