ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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