That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
