just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
