You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
