You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
