I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
