I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
