i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
