mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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