I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize