I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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