So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
