It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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