He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
A+ Viking dick
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
