went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize