So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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