rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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