idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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