I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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