I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
