I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
