just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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