I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
