My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
