We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
