Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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