I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
