Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
worst night to have a conscience
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
A+ Viking dick
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