this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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