Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
