I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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