the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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