He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
this will be a night to untag.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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