gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
