Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
