Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
