i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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