make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
