I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
